


A Monster Like Me

by rumpledspinster



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), ouat
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, It's all about hope, No Smut, boom happy ending, just when they think there is no hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 13:58:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9074914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rumpledspinster/pseuds/rumpledspinster
Summary: A monster AU of sorts. As I said in the tags, the characters have just about convinced themselves that there is no hope for a happy ending, and then boom! They turn out to be each other's happy ending.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ishtarelisheba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishtarelisheba/gifts).



> A birthday gift for the wonderfully talented ishtarelisheba. Happy birthday darling!

Belle hugged her pillow to her chest as she curled into herself beneath her warm quilt. She listened to the rain falling outside and the gentle ringing of the windchime outside of her bedroom window dancing in the breeze. She sighed as she thought back over the last few months. Something had changed. She was different somehow, and she wasn’t sure that it was a good change. Food no longer seemed filling. She felt tired and weak. Sleep didn’t come easy to her and the little she got didn’t leave her feeling any more refreshed. Perhaps this is what it is like being an adult. Belle didn’t have any friends her own age, she simply couldn’t relate to any of them and vice a versa. Belle thought over this fact and decided that it seemed unlikely that others her age were feeling similarly, so then what’s wrong with me? It was times like these that she wished she had her mother. Thinking of her mother, she glanced at her bedroom clock. 2:00 a.m. Belle smiled sadly to herself as she realized it was her birthday. She was sad that her mother couldn’t be with her, excited because she could finally open the letter that her mother had left for her all those years ago, and worried because she wondered if the way she is feeling is similar to the emotions that led her mother to take her own life all those years ago. 

Belle padded quietly across her room and opened her dresser. She gently pushed aside her underwear and socks and retrieved the large manila envelope addressed: “To my precious daughter on her sixteenth birthday” Belle carefully opened the envelope and pulled the letter out. 

 

My sweet baby Belle,  
Happy birthday darling. I wish with all my heart that I could be there for you because I know that your life is about to become complicated and difficult in ways that you never would have dreamed. Know that I love you. I love you more than life itself and I know that you are probably thinking to yourself, “Then why did you leave me?” The answer to that question is complicated, but I hope that someday you will understand my decision even if you don’t agree with it because I swear that what I did was done out of love for you. By now you’ve probably noticed that you are changing in ways that your peers are not. You’re tired in a way that sleep can’t help. You’re hungry for something that you can’t name. You might be starting to see dark circles around your eyes and a pallid look to your skin. These changes are normal for our kind. You and I are not human. I know that this will be hard to process, but it is true. Remember the stories I told you as a child. The world is vast and full of unique creatures that go relatively unseen by humans. We two are such. Mythology calls us succubi, but there are many things about us that mythology will not tell you. I will try my best to enclose as much information as I can about our kind and our history. Please my darling remember that you are not a monster, please don’t think of yourself as one. What we are is what nature made us.

My decision to leave you was the hardest decision I have made in all my 167 years. Our kind have a healing factor that far surpasses that of humans. That healing factor keeps us from aging much past our mid-twenties and it makes us immortal. We are not invulnerable to death, enough damage to our bodies done faster than we can heal would kill us. Our kind feeds off the life force of humans. That may seem cruel, but it is our place in the food chain. Like some creatures anesthetize their prey, when we feed on a human they experience overwhelming sexual bliss. This is where the misconception that succubi have sex with their victims comes from. The victim’s mind creates a scenario that fits with what their body is experiencing, when the reality of the situation may be as simple as the succubus draining their life force with a hand to their cheek. All that is needed to feed is skin to skin contact. Feeding may be difficult for you to control at first, but you will gain control over it in time. 

Our kind are few. Copulating is difficult as it would require us to ignore the overwhelming urge to feed off our partner. For many years, I hunted as our kind has often done, I disguised myself as prey and lured men in. They would come to me seeking sexual pleasure and I would provide it at the cost of their life. This was by no means easy for me. I felt near constant guilt for the things I did to survive, but I knew that starving myself would only make me more dangerous. I met your father one cold night in November. He was like a knight in shining armor and I fell in love. I had to kill more often so that I could stay safe around him, but that became harder to do once you were born. I couldn’t bring you with me on hunts and I couldn’t bear the thought of accidently killing your father. I finally came to the very difficult conclusion of ending my existence. That way your father would live and you would have the opportunity to have a normal childhood. 

I hope that you had a good childhood. I pray that you felt warmth and safety. Take care of yourself my precious child. My love will always be with you and perhaps one day you will find and experience love like I felt for you and your father. 

All my love for eternity,  
Mommy

Belle felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. The rational part of her brain wanted to deny the letter. Fairy tales weren’t true, and yet…  
Belle began to sob to herself. She let the envelope fall to the ground and pulled her knees to her chest and let herself cry. She hadn’t realized just how bottled up she had been keeping her emotions and just how on edge she was. 

Belle gasped in surprise as her door opened and the hall light shone down on her. 

“What’s wrong? Are you ill?” Moe French stood confused and more than a bit sleepy in the doorway leaning heavily on the frame. 

Belle stifled her crying and wiped at her face with the backs of her hands. “I’m fine. Just a little melancholy.” 

Moe shuffled to where Belle was sitting on the floor, knelt and wrapped his arms around her. He held her so that her head rested on his shoulder and their cheeks touched. Belle felt the change instantly. She was warming all over. Her mind brought up images of homemade soup and warm blankets and she wished to feel that way forever, but the feelings dimmed as Moe shoved Belle away from him. Belle fell back onto the carpet with a thud. Moe looked disgusted as he pointed an accusing finger at Belle. “Demon! What have you done to my daughter?!”

Belle could see that her father looked pale and sickly as well as enraged. She put her hands out toward him palms out as a sign that she meant no harm as she asked, “Papa, what’s wrong?”

Moe quickly ran from the room and barricaded himself in his own. Belle ran after him and pressed her ear to the door. “Papa, please talk to me.” She listened and could hear the clicking of the rotary dial alerting her that he was calling someone. She heard him tell the person on the line that he believed that she was possessed. That she had become demon with a long tongue, sharp teeth, and glowing eyes. That she had forced herself on him. 

Belle stumbled backward. She pressed her hand to her mouth as she struggled to get back to her room. Her hands shook as she packed her bags and dressed. After she had taken what she felt she would need as well as the things she couldn’t bear to leave behind, she left the house and made her way out into the dark and fog of the early morning as tears silently streamed down her face. 

 

****

 

Belle was too afraid to go back to her room at the B and B as she struggled to drag her weak and tired body along the puddle strewn pavement. The rain falling upon her felt like needles and her wet hair stuck to her face and obstructed her view. He was close. She knew it, could feel it. She had become his prey and she felt her fear may overcome her. Nowhere to go and no way out, but then she saw a light in the distance. It was like a light house, a beacon of hope in the darkness. She focused all her energy on getting there and she nearly died of relief when she reached the heavy doors of the church and they gave under her freezing hands. She stumbled down the aisle and finally collapsed at the foot of the pew in the front of the church. She sobbed into the carpeted floor. “Why? Why have you made me this way? What would you have me do?” She looked up at the statue of a crucified Jesus with a look of desperate pleading. 

“Come now dearie, it can’t be as bad as all that.”  
Belle turned to look at the source of the Scottish brogue and saw a handsome man that appeared to be in his fifties with a distinguished look and silver shoulder length hair. The man seemed to regard her for a moment and then his face which was full of concern began to cloud with confusion. “Perhaps it is as bad as all that.” He corrected as he made his way toward her and offered her his hand. 

Belle looked at his hand sadly before turning her head and balled her hands. Her voice wavered as she held on to the frayed remains of her strength, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

The man made a sound like a small chuckle as he replied, “You needn’t worry about that lass. I’m much heartier than I look.”

Belle inhaled sharply, “And I’m more dangerous than I look.”  
The man didn’t look like he believed her so she sighed. “You’re telepathic, aren’t you?”  
The man seemed surprised, “You caught that?”  
She nodded. “I’m somewhat telepathic as well, and if you’ll let me, I’ll show you what I am and why I’m beyond help.”  
The man seemed intrigued as he took a seat on the carpet across from her. “Alright.”  
Belle could feel that he had let his mental walls down to make the transfer of thoughts easy for her. Belle took a breath and let her mind drift. She shared her memories with him. Memories of being a child in the fifties and of the fairy tales her mother told her, of her sixteenth birthday and how everything had changed after that, of the late sixties and how she had hunted among the young people who sought to expand their minds with LSD, the seventies where she had hunted among the drunk and drugged revelers in the multicolor discos, the eighties where she hunted men and women who were in search of escape from the stress of their ‘be the best’ lives in a cloud of cocaine and the arms of a stranger, and the nineties where she hunted the young people so full of ennui and so ready to give themselves over to oblivion. She let him feel her guilt and self-loathing, her sadness, her loneliness. She showed him that she had struggled for years to learn how to hunt without killing, only to find out why her kind killed its prey. When she let her prey live it became obsessed with her. At first, she had tried to leave while they were still in a stupor. They would awake thinking they had experienced the best one night stand of their lives, but not have enough information to be able to follow her. That had worked for a time, but then she had met Gaston. He had come on to her and had refused to take no for an answer. She had been hunting in a night club at the time, something he was making it impossible to do, so she left. He cornered her in the alley outside of the club and pinned her against the wall. Her only way of getting out of his grasp was to feed off him, and it was then that she saw that he wasn’t human. He was a werewolf. Apparently, mythology had gotten them wrong as well because he seemed to have no trouble tapping in to his wolfishness with no moonlight in sight. Her feeding off him had weakened him somewhat, but it had also awakened a lust in him that Belle found terrifying. She had been running from him ever since. If she allowed herself to consume her prey fully, she could exist comfortably for about three months, but eating the way she had been only bought her a few days at a time. Gaston had made it impossible for her to hunt and her body was paying for it. It seemed she was destined to die at his hands, and as much as she feared that fate she supposed she couldn’t argue with it.

“The hell you can’t!” The man before her shouted. The sound of his voice shook her free of her trip down memory lane and brought her back to the present.  
“What?” she asked, confused by his outburst. His eyes were full of love and his face full of concern. “You absolutely can argue with it. The universe has given you a raw deal and has thrown you obstacles that should have been insurmountable, yet you have persevered. I saw the way you see yourself and your life and… I understand.”

Belle hung her head sadly, “How can you?”

He gently brushed the wet hair from her face without letting his fingers touch her skin. She looked up at him as he asked, “May I?”

She understood that he wanted to answer her question so she lowered her own mental walls and let him in. 

All at once she felt herself become immersed in the world of his memories. She saw him as a boy. So small and sweet, and so unlike his abusive parents. He grew up frightened and alone, scared and unsure. She saw an abusive wife who abandoned him with a young son. She saw the boy become the light of his life and grow to the age of eight and die at the hands of scarlet fever. She felt his devastation. He yearned for death, but he was religious and couldn’t risk taking his own life and forever being apart from his boy. It was the time of the first world war and he was thirty. He joined and saw death and suffering in the cold wet trenches. So much noise and pain. Wet and cold. She saw and felt as he was shot in the ankle and left where he fell. She cried as he prayed for death and was greeted by a feral face upon a German soldier. She felt the sharp needle like teeth pierce his neck and gasped as she saw the color drain from his face. She watched his despair at his situation, how he tried to keep from killing people only to become more dangerous in his hunger, how close to destroying himself he had come on so many occasions just as she had been contemplating on this night and she wished to reach out and hold him and cursed the universe for the inability to do so. She saw how like herself, he had found a way to hunt without killing humans. He fed himself on the blood of animals which sustained him, but left him weak and feeling his age. She felt disbelief as she saw that after so many years of pain and sadness he had begun to reach a point of acceptance, and that seeing her and knowing her story had been a part of that. He released her mind and she fell back against the carpet and lay sprawled out before him. She had gone too long without feeding. She could feel darkness creeping at her peripherals. Then all at once there were strong arms around her and she felt warmth. She lay helpless in his arms and fed automatically, finding herself in no state to have self-control. This time was so unlike all the other times. In the past, the sensation of feeding was like warmth and comfort, but this was so much more. Her mind conjured up visions of them together. Their memories mingled in her mind and supplied her with details making the visions all the more vibrant. She knew his name was Robert and that he was hers. They were together with nothing between them. He pulled a warm blanket around her and nibbled at her ear. She inhaled deeply of his scent and smiled. She lay her head upon his chest and felt his breath gently blow her hair. She loved him so deeply. She knew they had only just met, but she felt as if they had been together all their lives and that feeling of belonging together was only intensifying. She heard him moan in pleasure and she smiled, but she was awoken from her beautiful dream when he began to twitch beneath her. All at once she remembered where she was and realized what he had done. She scrambled off him and brushed his sweat drenched hair from his face. “Robert! Oh no, what have I done?” Belle began to sob as she grabbed handfuls of his suit jacket in her hands and shook him. 

Robert mumbled incoherently as his eyes slowly opened. Belle was kneeling over him with tears streaming down her face and he struggled to find the strength to reach up and wipe them away. Belle took his hand in hers and held it. “I thought I had killed you.”  
Robert smirked, “It would take far more than you to kill me lass. Vampires are fairly sturdy.”

Belle sighed in relief and pulled him up into a sitting position and hugged him. 

“I see you’ve gotten your strength back.”

She nodded and then began to cry anew. Robert looked confused, “What’s wrong love?”

Belle licked her lips. “When I fed from you… it was so much more than anything I’ve ever felt. Normally it’s just warmth, like a blanket, but this… this was…”

“Love.” Robert supplied, “At least it was for me.”

Belle nodded. “I imagined we were couple. It felt as if we had been one for ages. We were in bed together and for the first time in ages, I felt safe and loved.”

Robert smiled and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. All at once he broke the kiss and fell exhausted back toward the carpet. “Ugh. I’m sorry lass. I’m not at full strength on account of my diet.”

The moment was interrupted with the thunderous sound of banging at the door behind them. Belle looked back at the now locked door in confusion. Robert struggled to get up as he answered her unspoken question, “I bolted it behind me.” Belle looked quizzically at him for a moment before a look of annoyance crossed her face, “You were planning to eat me weren’t you?”

Robert looked at her guiltily and opened his mouth to try to explain, but her face softened and she shrugged. “I understand. You’re weak and hungry. I’ve been there. And even though you were starving, you fed me.” Her face shone with love and he smiled lovingly back at her. “I’d gladly die in your arms.”

Bang! The sound of the door cracking under the strength of something on the other side brought them back to the moment. Belle gasped as she realized, “It’s Gaston! I’ll never get out of here and far away enough in time to escape him!” Robert tried to put her behind him as he groaned, “He won’t lay a finger on you.” Belle held him as he fell back against her. “You’re no match for him as weak as you are.” Robert rolled his eyes in annoyance at her accusation, but soon opened them wide in shock as she pulled her damp hair away from her neck and tilted his head so as to give him access to her carotid artery. Robert gaped, “What are you doing?” Belle rolled her eyes as if it were obvious. “I’m giving you a fighting chance.” She could see that he was reluctant so she urged, “Please Robert! He’ll kill us both. I’m at full strength thanks to you. I can handle it. My body will be able to replace the blood as you drink.” Robert looked terrified and began to shake his head no, but another ‘bang!’ from the door had Belle crying out in a terrified whimper and that seemed to settle his mind. 

In a flash, she was in his arms and his mouth was warm around her neck. He drank deeply and reveled in the sensation of it. It was so much more than anything he had experienced before. In the past, feeding was no more than satisfying hunger, but this… this was like an exquisite four course meal. Her hot blood seemed to warm him in a way he never remembered being. Her smell intoxicated him with its light floral notes and crisp fruitiness. He felt lust in his gut and his mind seemed to scream at him to never let her go, an emotion that only intensified as she pulled a handful of his hair, but then he heard her scream in terror and he dropped her in fear that he had gone too far and taken too much. He was able to look down at her still body sprawled on the floor before him, pale save for the crimson smear on her neck for only a moment before large arms were around him and pulling him up off the ground. His mind quickly registered that the thick, hairy arms were that of the werewolf after his beloved and in his quick thinking he shifted his momentum back against his attacker sending them both falling to the floor. The wolf man hybrid cried out in surprise as his back thudded against the ground. In that moment his grip loosened and Robert was able to roll over on top of him.

Robert reached one hand up against his attacker’s muzzle and pushed up with all his might while the other dug into his chest. Hot blood poured forth around Robert’s fingers as he pushed, his muscles struggling against that of the wolf man’s. The pinned creature thrashed and swiped at him with his claws, leaving gashes on his arms and chest and shredding his clothes. But in the end, the wolf man was no match for a full-strength vampire and Robert felt his hand push past the creature’s shattered ribs and meet momentary resistance against the tight ball of muscle it had called its heart before that muscle snapped and bust open on its sides from the pressure. The creature went still beneath Robert. He regarded it for a moment and then hopped off it lightly. In less than a second, Robert had bounded to the heavy doors of the church and closed them. He grabbed one of the broken pieces of the large piece of wood that had been the brace that locked the door and placed it in the bracket securing the door. In that same second he was back at Belle’s side. He made to reach for her but saw the blood and gore on his hands and pulled them back fluttering in unsure concern. “Belle! Oh god no!” Robert sobbed. Belle’s eyes fluttered open and Robert nearly exploded from happy shock. Belle moaned as she sat up and rubbed her head. Her neck had already healed completely and though she was a bit dizzy, she was otherwise in good condition. She saw the concern on Robert’s face and the bloodied remains of Gaston and gasped in relief as she wrapped her hands around Robert tightly. “Hold me back.” She commanded and he sighed, “I’m covered in gore.” She huffed, “We’ll shower together later, now hold me back.” Robert smiled and complied because how could he say no to that offer. 

Together they disposed of the body and the bloodied carpet. Belle quirked her mouth, “You really think people won’t question this?” Robert chuckled, “Storybrooke is a strange town full of dim witted people who refuse to see anything that doesn’t fit in with their preconceived notions. Trust me when I say they will absolutely think someone broke into the church with the sole purpose of stealing this one rug.” Belle rolled her eyes and smiled. 

They quickly snuck into her room at Granny’s B and B and packed up her things and left money under the alarm clock for the bill. They made their way to his lovely pink Victorian warm and dry despite the torrential rain thanks to his black Cadillac. He ushered her in to the kitchen and quickly unloaded her things. Belle smiled, “My, my… something has put some pep in your step.” Robert wrapped his arms around her and smiled, “I can’t remember ever feeling this good and it’s all because of you.” Belle sighed happily, “I feel the same way about you. I never thought a monster like me would get the chance to feel like this.”

Robert pressed a kiss to her head as he rocked her in his arms, “You are not a monster. You were born the way you are. I’m the only monster here.” Belle twisted in his embrace and looked up at him. “You are not a monster. You didn’t choose to be what you are. It was done to you. If anything, you’re a victim.” Robert looked at her in disbelief. “I’ve lost my soul Belle. I’m forever damned. I am truly a monster.” Belle huffed in angry frustration, “What makes you so sure you’ve lost your soul? According to mythology, I never had one to begin with! You and I were both raised in the church. You may believe that you have become a monster, but you can take comfort in knowing that you were of the creator’s own design. Whereas the church would call me an abomination to God. A creature outside his realm of creation. You may believe yourself to be one of God’s fallen children, but at least you were his child!” 

Belle collapsed to the floor in heaving sobs. Robert fell to his knees and pulled her into his arms. Tears began to stream down his face as he sought to calm her, “Oh Belle, I’m so sorry. My darling… my sweetheart, if anyone has a soul than truly it is you. If you are not of the creator’s own design than I promise you he is kicking himself for not coming up with you because you are amazing.” Belle continued to cry silently, but she nodded in agreement against his chest and whispered, “I don’t think a soul is something you can lose. It’s part of the essence of you.” Robert nodded, “Aye, and of you.” He hoisted her into his arms and began to carry her to the master bathroom. “Come on, you promised me a shower together.” He smiled down at her and she smiled back at him. 

After a very romantic shower, they settled into his warm, soft bed. Belle sighed, “It’s been so long since I had a proper home.” Robert sighed happily as Belle lay warm against his chest. “You’ll always have a home with me.” Belle hummed and then smiled as a thought occurred to her. “We can feed each other.” “Hmm?” Robert looked down at her excited face. Belle beamed, “We can feed off each other. When you drink from me I can feed off your strength at the same time and both of us will be satisfied.” Robert looked optimistically unsure, “I nearly killed you last time…” Belle smiled lovingly, “I’d bleed myself dry for you darling.” Robert blanched at her words and she put a reassuring hand upon his cheek. “I was just dizzy, the shock of Gaston about to tear us to pieces is what caused me to faint.” 

“Faint?”

Belle giggled, “Oh, my sweet overprotective vampire. Yes, that’s all it was.”

Robert still seemed unsure, but Belle was able to convince him in the end and dinner time became a very sensual experience that they both looked forward to doing whether they were hungry or not. 

 

***

 

Belle was pleasantly surprised to find out that mythology had gotten a lot of things wrong about vampires as well as she settled in to living with Robert. Crosses and holy water had no effect on him and he prayed from time to time. He seemed to be trying to make peace with his creator and Belle was in awe of the determination and understanding that must take. Belle herself was still unsure what she believed about the nature of things and her existence, but she figured she had plenty of time to figure it out. 

The residents of Storybrooke were quite surprised to see the lovely new librarian (a job she had her fiancé to thank for arranging) on the arm of the town monster. Belle always giggled to herself at the sight of their not so secretive looks because if they only knew… It pleased Belle to no end to find out that the whole business of sunlight and vampires was blown out of proportion in myths. As it turned out her soon to be husband was very much like a lizard in the sense that he relied on his environment to regulate his temperature, so as long as he stayed cool he was fine. For the first time since before her mother died, Belle felt as if she had a place in the world. A loving family and a life. A real life, no longer just an existence. Belle smiled to herself as she dusted off the books on her shelf and stopped to run her fingers over the spine of the book of fairytales that her mother had left her. Perhaps there was more truth to those stories than just the monsters. Perhaps happy ever after really was possible.


End file.
